Dementia Support Group creates bonds, reduces stigma
Kath Atwell has intimate knowledge of the pain and all-consuming responsibility involved with caring for someone with dementia.
Her late husband Bill suffered a slow cognitive decline, and Kath spent a decade as his full-time carer.
“He was a very intelligent and kind man, but dementia made him the exact opposite,” Kath said.
“They call it the long goodbye and I had 10 years.”
Personality change is very common in dementia patients and Kath said it often drove people to avoid public interactions.
“We’ve made it shameful and secret, and it shouldn’t be,” Kath said. “I had little cards that said, ‘The person I’m with has Alzheimer’s, please be kind’.
“Once, Bill was incredibly rude to a salesperson but I gave her that card and she was absolutely charming; that worked time and time again.”
Kath shared tips like these with members of Edenhope’s new Dementia Support Group, for anyone who cares for someone living with the disease.
Sharing the physical and emotional load was one of her key messages.
“You need to build up a circle of people you can rely on,” she said. “I had very good friends who would take Bill for a game of pool, so I could do my shopping or get my hair done.
“He loved playing pool and, strangely enough, he still won right up until the day he died!”
Kath also urged others to find the self-compassion she could not.
“When Bill was first diagnosed, I told him I would take care of him and I really held onto that,” she said. “It took me a long time to get over that awful feeling of not doing enough, you feel so guilty all the time. It wasn’t until after he died that I realised, eventually putting him into the hostel was the best way to look after him.”
Kath urged carers and loved ones to join the Grampians Health Edenhope support group.
“It’s an awful disease and it’s really not something anyone can deal with alone,” she said.
“We need to get rid of the shame and increase awareness, because support has to come from everyone.”
Social worker June Spencer, who convenes the weekly support group meetings, has already seen the benefits for attendees.
“They’re bonding over shared experiences and learning from each other, which has been really positive,” June said.
“I started this group because there are so many people caring for a loved one in this community, so I hope to see a few new members in the coming weeks.”
Grampians Health Edenhope Dementia Support Group is held monthly, on Fridays, 10.30am, at the Elsie Bennett Community Centre.
For information and support, please visit Dementia Australia: https://www.dementia.org.au/
